Disarming is the way to handle people that confront you in an angry, disrespectful, hostile, provoking or generally unreasonable manner without being defensive and avoiding to hurt or harm them. The goal of disarming is to diffuse the energy of the person that confronts you and then to move the discussion in a way that would not impart your emotions negatively.
It may feel unnatural when you first try it because it involves responding to attacks with cognitive behaviour which involves;
1. Thanking about a person that confronts you
2. Finding some truth in the criticism
3. Validation aggressive feelings
4. Giving the person underserved credits
5. Accepting more responsibility for the situation
Why do you need DISARMING? It Works! Your action throws the individual off balance and difuse their anger positively.
Disarming is a technique you could use by creating healthier conversation through neutralising negative energy and emotions.
Start with disarming statements like: ‘’What a relief, You are right, Thank you for bringing that up, I appreciate the feedback, Thank goodness someone finally said that out loud, It is refreshing to hear someone actually speak his or her mind, People tell me that sometimes’’.
Then, follow with an acknowledgement or validation of that person’s concerns or with the alignment of goal.
Thereafter, you can continue by re-defining their words, asking for suggestions or begin a problem solving dialogue.
Finally, if you want to address the other person’s rudeness do it by making him/her feel uncivilised and apologetic.