Popular rapper, Olusegun Osaniyi aka Lord of Ajasa, and his wife, Olufunmilayo, talk to TOFARATI IGE, about their marriage
Can you recall how you met your wife?
Lord of Ajasa: I met her a long time ago. I was still a bachelor who was trying to make a name for himself. I was living in the Bariga, Lagos then, while she was a resident of Fola Agoro, Lagos. We dated for some years before we eventually got married.
Funmi: I met him in 2004 through a friend, Yinka, who is now deceased. That was about two years after I graduated from secondary school.
What actually caught your eye when you saw your wife?
Lord of Ajasa: I cannot really lay a finger on it; you know God works in mysterious ways. I met her through a female friend of mine who brought her to my house. Immediately I set my eyes on her, I said aloud, "They have come with my wife," and everybody laughed. She is a beautiful girl, and she was looking very cute on that day. She also has a charming personality, and everybody loved her immediately she came in. We began dating shortly after that, but none of us thought of marriage at that point because we were quite young.
Funmi: He looked calm and spoke well on that fateful day. However, when he set eyes on me and said I'm his wife, I just laughed within me because I felt that he did not know what he was saying. After that time, he kept sending my friend to me and he persisted until I began to fall in love with him.
When did you propose to her?
Lord of Ajasa: I did that after about seven years of dating. At that time, I had a lot of girls around, but I knew I had to settle down as age was no longer on my side. I knew I needed to choose, and I chose her because I felt she was the perfect one for me. I had a lot of beautiful girls around me, but I know that beauty is not the only thing to consider when choosing a life partner. I studied her well, and I'm glad I chose her.
Did you kneel down when you wanted to propose?
Lord of Ajasa: No. I am not a white man. I just told her I wanted us to take the relationship to the next level. I had to convince her because ladies are usually scared of artistes as they see us as promiscuous people. I made her understand that I adore her, and she's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Funmi: He held my hand when he proposed and asked if I could have a baby by him. I told him I would think about it.
What are the qualities that attracted you to her?
Lord of Ajasa: Apart from her beauty, my wife is very generous. She is ready to share whatever she has with anybody that needs it, and that is something I love about her. There are a lot of girls who are only interested in collecting from you, but when you need help, they will run away. My wife is someone who will stay with you through thick and thin. I thank God I made the right choice, because so many things have happened to show that I wasn't wrong to have married her.
Funmi: He is a very focused and dedicated person. When he wants something, he goes for it, and he always works hard. He is also considerate and caring.
Did her parents readily accept you?
Lord of Ajasa: Initially, her parents did not want her to marry a musician, but she was able to convince them through her persistence.
How will you describe your marital experience in the eight years that you have been married?
Lord of Ajasa: It is normal to face challenges as a family man because all your priorities change and you have more responsibilities. Marriage has also taught me patience, because you have to be patient if you want to survive as a family man. I have also learnt to be calculative, have self-control, and be loving. When you show your wife and kids love, they will love you back, and will always want to be around you.
Funmi: The grace of God is what has been keeping us. Understanding each other is also another important factor that helps us; whenever he is hot, I am usually calm.
How have you been able to overcome challenges in your marriage?
Lord of Ajasa: Patience! I do not just react based on what I hear, or what I see. I take my time to consider different sides before making a decision.
When you have disagreements with your wife, who apologises first?
Lord of Ajasa: Sometimes, I apologise first, and at other times, she does. We cultivated the habit of saying 'sorry' a long time ago, so we are used to it. We have also studied each other very well, and we know our likes and dislikes, so we try to act in ways that we don't offend each other.
Funmi: It depends on what happened, but we don't necessarily wait for the other person's apology before we settle issues. It is either we communicate on something that concerns our kids, or I ask him which food he wants to eat because my husband likes food.
Can you recall the first major disagreement you had as a married couple?
Lord of Ajasa: We never really had any major disagreement. I usually deal with issues before they get out of control.
Funmi: I can't really recall, but disagreements are normal in relationships. However, what we disagree on most is our kids. At times, I could cook amala and my kids would ask for another food, but I would insist that they should eat what I have prepared. On such occasions, my husband would say I should not force them to eat what I've cooked, that I should give them whatever they feel like eating. That usually gets me angry because it is good to train kids with what you have. While growing up, I ate whatever my parents cooked, and not what I felt like eating.
How would you describe your individual personalities?
Funmi: I am a God-fearing lady with a pure heart. But I do not like people taking me for granted, because I am always kind to everyone around me. I like being truthful, and I do not like people doing what I cannot do to them. I am also friendly; I like music and going out. Most importantly, I believe in God more than in any other thing.
As for my husband, he is a humble and caring man who loves peace. He has the fear of God, and he never inconveniences me. He loves his kids dearly, and he always wants us to be happy. He is kind to people and even though many of the people he helped in the past never looked back when they became established, he has not stopped being good. He has never made me suffer, and I plan to stay by him forever.
Do you call each other by pet names?
Lord of Ajasa: Yes; we call each other 'honey.'
Why do you think celebrity marriages crash these days?
Lord of Ajasa: I don't know and I cannot speak for others. You cannot compare me with other entertainers, because even though I am an artiste, I'm more of an indoor person. I'm not the type of person that is always going out, and does not have time for his family. My wife isn't also a celebrity; if she was well-known too, I am sure people and the media would be watching all our moves. When celebrities marry fellow stars, there is usually a lot of pride from both parties, and they find it difficult to submit to each other. Most of these celebrity marriages crash because they're usually dogged by scandals, and people always intrude into their business.
Funmi: Lack of understanding and patience.
How important do you think money is in marriage?
Lord of Ajasa: It is very important! You have to take care of your family, live a good life, and you need money to do that. I cannot even advise anyone to get married without having a source of income.
What do you think are the most important ingredients to sustain a marriage?
Lord of Ajasa: Love, understanding and patience. When love is missing in a relationship, such union cannot last.
Do you buy gifts for your wife?
Lord of Ajasa: I do, though not as frequently as I used to do when we started dating.
What's the most expensive thing your husband has bought for you?
Funmi: A car and a phone. There was also a time he gave me N500,000 to start a business.
How do you unwind as a couple?
Lord of Ajasa: I go into my studio to create beats because it is only music that can make me feel relaxed.
Are any of your children showing interest in music?
Lord of Ajasa: Well, it is to be expected. My first child, who is seven, raps already. Very soon, you will hear more from him. I have brought out a lot of artistes, so why wouldn't I bring out my own child? However, it all depends on what he wants to become in future. I am not going to force him. I can only encourage them because I was not encouraged as a child.
What is your philosophy of life?
Lord of Ajasa: What you sow is what you will reap. It is important to live a simple, and always put God first in whatever you do.
Do you have any advice for young couples?
Lord of Ajasa: Marriage is not all about love. You have to really know the person you are getting married to and the person's background as well.
Is true that Marriage is not only about love ?