A day came and I just said to myself, "that's it! I've had enough! This love thing isn't worth it, not working and not for everyone!" I guess I had even given up on love before I knew what love was or meant. I know there are a lot of people who feel the same way, who might have met some terrible and untruthful people in their lives either abusive or hurtful. And they themselves are filled with so much hurt. We seem to transfer all the hurt to others because we do not know how to give love. Hurting people hurt people. I realised that there was nothing wrong with love. He who is hurt is just still busy dealing with self to have enough space for two or more.
Then, I decided to listen to some old people talk about their marriages. Four words kept popping up: "Trust, commitment, forgiveness and love." It seemed to be the core of what kept them going and together.
My mum told me a story about an old couple. They had been together for more than fifty years and everyone wanted to know what kept them together. They said, when they got married, they agreed to always pray holding hands every time they woke up and went to bed. Even when they had been friends for long, it was known to them that friends could offend each other sometimes. Not all offenses seem forgivable but they promised no matter what they would choose to forgive. They knew it was impossible to hold hands, talk less of praying together when mad at each other. So, they decided that no matter the offense, they would forgive every night, hold hands and pray together. It might look easy but it's deep and takes the help of God.
Most people find it hard to say sorry, especially when they feel they are right. Often, both partners feel the other's wrong. Since two wrongs will never make a right, it's just easier to learn to forgive and let understanding and peace reign. For me, I love my sweet sleep than a sleepless night. I'll rather just sum up all the courage and just apologise so I can sleep well. There's no point keeping an issue on my mind and staying up all night if sincerely apologising can end it all and open door to dialogue and understanding. Listening to these, changed my perception about life generally. So I had to learn to deal with my inside before I could let others in. To love we need God on our inside, for God is love.
If we have ego issues, then, we still need to step into God's love class because love is not puffed up. Love is patient and not selfish. Love overlooks a lot, that makes it easier to be less angry and forgive more. Love thinks of others and it's selfless.
So, next time you want to say that word or act selfishly, think twice, "am I in love or simply selfish?" If we love then it has to be the "1 Corinthians 13" kind of love, not some microwaved, fictional, modified love. If we'll be in love, we'll give our all and make it work. If you can't forgive or let go then you're not ready for love. Love and forgiveness go together. Love is for two submissive hearts, always ready to learn and get better.
Love is a beautiful thing. You might have your fears based on experiences you've had but we've all
had some sort of painful experience or the other. We just learn to let go and let God take over our hearts. Love is fun. Being in love with the right person makes life easier. We might never really know how lovely it is unless we open up our hearts and try again.